Well people.....it's that time again in my life where I tear out large patches of hair from my head, chew my fingers down to the nubbs and grow a ginormous stress belly. Another one of my off spring has decided to proceed with turning sixteen next month. No matter how huge an internal conniption fit I throw, she still insists on going ahead with it.
Next month one of my sweet little girls will be driving!!!!!!
Driving me insane that is!
I thought it would be a breeze when I taught my son to drive; Little did I know I should have worn adult diapers and taken a couple of those cute little pills before I left the house each time we went out.
It was truly one of the most disturbing experiences of my life and I LOATH having to do it again! LOOOOAAAATH IT! ...and then I have to do it again next year for 'thank the lord' the last of the brood! Honestly, I would rather feel the pain of childbirth for a month. I'll even give up the smorgasbord of drugs they so kindly provide! Can I still get some of those for this occasion? Okay, okay. I'll wait to take them after each lesson. Whaaaat? I'll have a designated driver! Sheeeezz! For those of you men who've never experienced child birth let's say, 'I would rather take a sledgehammer to the old egg pouch'.
Anyhow, not only is this wonderful child (who can barely walk without falling or stumbling into something painful), planning to operate a moving vehicle amongst unsuspecting drivers, pedestrians and possibly farm animals; she is also planning a Sweet Sixteen party to commence in a little less than a month.
I'm supposed to attend my 20 year reunion in August.
I am destined to look like something from The Hills Have Eyes!
At least I'll have something to come back here and vent about for the next couple of months.
PLEASE SEND ME SOME DRUGS! PLEASE!!!!!
Oh and a special shout out to my mom for the wonderful curse she put on me!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks a lot! Love you too!!!!
(YOU SHOULD BE SENDING ME SOME DRUGS!).
