The other day I was 'chillin' in my back yard with my daughter and our dog Max. As she was rubbing his belly, much to his delight, she pondered out loud “why do male dogs have nipples?” I replied “Well, human males have nipples too. Hmm, why do males have nipples? There’s really no purpose for them, right?”
My daughter is the female version of Cliff Clavin from Cheers, so I figured she would give me some long detailed explanation on the purpose of male nipples. Much to my delight at the time, she had nothing. It’s been a few days now and the question still flickers in and out of my head, as if I don’t have enough to think about.
So does anyone out there have a good explanation for what purpose male nipples serve? The question takes me back to that one time when God created Adam. You remember that time right? Anyhow, I wonder if Adam started out WITHOUT nipples…and then along came Eve.
In my mind, male nipples may have come about a little something like this:
(I’ve illustrated a cartoon for this, but I’m too busy these days to dig out the scanner).
Adam: Here ya go lord, here’s the rib.
God: Alright, let me see what I can come up with.
Adam: Hmm, cool. But she looks a little too much like me.
Isn’t there something you can do to make sure you can tell us apart?
God: I see your point. How’s this?
Adam: o000O00OH, Adam likie!
What are those? Ya know, I think I would like a set for myself.
God: No, I don’t think so.
Adam: I want em!!! I want em!!! I want em….
God: FINE! Poof~ There ya go.
Adam: Ohhh, they’re really uncomfortable.
God: Okaaaay How about….that?
Adam: Muuuuch better! Now what are they for again?
God: I was hoping you were going to tell me.
Adam: Hmmm. Can I have some wings too.
God:Your really pushing it!
OKAY I KNOW YOU HATE YOUTUBE CLIPS BUT THIS IS FUNNY!
And besides, it isn't YouTube it's JIBJAB. :0P