Wednesday, July 25, 2007


The other day I was 'chillin' in my back yard with my daughter and our dog Max. As she was rubbing his belly, much to his delight, she pondered out loud “why do male dogs have nipples?” I replied “Well, human males have nipples too. Hmm, why do males have nipples? There’s really no purpose for them, right?”

My daughter is the female version of Cliff Clavin from Cheers, so I figured she would give me some long detailed explanation on the purpose of male nipples. Much to my delight at the time, she had nothing. It’s been a few days now and the question still flickers in and out of my head, as if I don’t have enough to think about.

So does anyone out there have a good explanation for what purpose male nipples serve? The question takes me back to that one time when God created Adam. You remember that time right? Anyhow, I wonder if Adam started out WITHOUT nipples…and then along came Eve.

In my mind, male nipples may have come about a little something like this:
(I’ve illustrated a cartoon for this, but I’m too busy these days to dig out the scanner).

Adam: Here ya go lord, here’s the rib.
God: Alright, let me see what I can come up with.
Adam: Hmm, cool. But she looks a little too much like me.
Isn’t there something you can do to make sure you can tell us apart?
God: I see your point. How’s this?
Adam: o000O00OH, Adam likie!
What are those? Ya know, I think I would like a set for myself.
God: No, I don’t think so.
Adam: I want em!!! I want em!!! I want em….
God: FINE! Poof~ There ya go.
Adam: Ohhh, they’re really uncomfortable.
God: Okaaaay How about….that?
Adam: Muuuuch better! Now what are they for again?
God: I was hoping you were going to tell me.
Adam: Hmmm. Can I have some wings too.
God:Your really pushing it!

And besides, it isn't YouTube it's JIBJAB. :0P


mcewen said...

Oh yes very good! I googled that same question after you emailed me.
How you find the time with three teenagers and work I can't imagine!
So which teenagers photo did you use for the top left hand corner?
You little baby face you.

Zoning Out Again said...

Oh Psshaw! You blushin me! :0)

Captain Smack said...

I don't know why other guys have nipples, but I use mine for entertainment purposes. I know some guys pretend like they're not in touch with their nips, but I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoy a little nipple play myself.

But I would guess that they are probably there because it would look really weird if they weren't.

bobbarama said...

I have obviously been remiss in not stopping here more often. You are pretty hysterical. And that video was pretty funny, too. Thanks for the fun!


Oh, by the way. Why male nipples? (I'm sorry to give away the secret, guys!) We typically tie some twine from one nipple to the other --- forming a clothesline --- so we can hang our laundry out to dry. Saves money. We're creative like that.

Zoning Out Again said...

Captain~Why does your nipple play not surprise me? :0) Hee hee.
It would only look weird because we're used to them being there.
Think of the extra space you'd have for tattoos!

bobbarama~Why thank you for the kind wordage my friend!
Great explanation on what you guys use your nipples for. Just another unfair advantage men have over women!
Gravity inflicts us with some pretty mean effects. I can't imagine assisting it any further with heavy wet clothing on a line.
Mine would drag on the floor and defeat the whole purpose.

Miss Smack said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dan said...

LOL! the explanation and the video are hilarious.

I would LOVE to see the cartoon you drew. One of these days! :)

Zoning Out Again said...

Hi Dan,
So glad you're back from Vaca!
Yes one of these days I'll get my lazy but up and drag out the old scanner. I need to start putting some funny illustrations up!
Who am I kidding??!!!?? I can barely get a post out once a week.

Cunning Linguist said...

males have nipples so that the females can have them. The species cannot propagate (sp) without both X and Y chromasomes having qualities that need to be passed down. I.E.; if the males do not have nipples, the females cannot and therefore cannot breastfeed. The same with belly buttons. On males they have no purpose but to keep your butthole screwed on but without them.... no umbilical cord for the woman to supply nutrient to the fetus.

But I digress.... like the good captain says. Purely for entertainment purposes for yours truly. ;)

Zoning Out Again said...

Cunning Linguist~
HEH? All I know is that I don't have a belly button anymore after giving birth to 3 children!
So sad! So let me get this straight. Men have stuff, just so that we women can be permitted to have similar stuff just so we can go through all of the major pains in life? SO UNFAIR!

Cunning Linguist said...

I smell a question for the good Captain's blog coming from you about this. If it makes you feel any better none of us would be able to take out the garbage porperly without the incessant whining of a woman somehow. There, feel better now? :P

Zoning Out Again said...

No I don't feel better...But if it would make you feel better if I say I feel better, then I'll say I feel better so we can all feel better.
How's that? :0D

Matt said...

There are a lot of practical tips here for male nipples. I think I'm under-utilizing mine.

Zoning Out Again said...

First off, good luck over there at diesel's place.
Second, are you brushing your teeth in your avatar?

Okay back to your possible nipple use. I dunno, maybe you could rent them out. For what, I'm not sure, but I'm sure Captain Smack would have a whole lot of ideas that are not at least rated PG17 and therefore cannot be doled out here.
I'm sure you'll come up with something on your own. :0) Glad you stopped by!

Cunning Linguist said...

Matt ~ regarding the holidays. I have only on word for you. Tinsel. Think about it.

Zone ~ I feel better you fell better so that I feel better oddly enough. Group hug.

Zoning Out Again said...

Cunning~ I'm glad we're all feeling better. I'd feel better if I had a drink!!!! So which one of you gets the foot rub?

Anonymous said...

[b] Adult, Sexy Videos, Pictures, Games.[/b]

[b]**NOTE:[/b] We are your ONLY Free Softcore Adult Playground with over 20 Free Social Communities built towards your favorite fantasy.

You don't have a favorite fantasy? You should.

Maybe its Hot Teachers, Hot Mom's, Hot Wives, Lingerie, Daisy Dukes, Nip Slips, Sexy Legs, Booty or Panties.

Don't worry, we have you covered.

With over 20 Free Hot Social Communities to upload Pictures, Videos and Blogs we are sure to have what you want.

[b]Check it out, have some fun, interact and enjoy all the free stuff.

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting of [b]Female use of Viagra[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=][b]Female use of Viagra[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=]Viagra 100mg pills[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]viagra and bata blockers
ciallis or viagra
Viagra Pulmonary Fibrosis
snoring and viagra
Viagra Fda Approval
Viagra Online Fedex
viagra voorschrift belgie
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

Nany said...

great post about MAN NIPPLES...... I have a question the man can suffers of inverted nipple??? or this disease is only in women?

Anonymous said...

Not sure where to post this but I wanted to ask if anyone has heard of National Clicks?

Can someone help me find it?

Overheard some co-workers talking about it all week but didn't have time to ask so I thought I would post it here to see if someone could help me out.

Seems to be getting alot of buzz right now.


oakleyses said...

longchamp outlet, replica watches, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin uk, ray ban sunglasses, nike free, longchamp pas cher, cheap oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co, jordan shoes, nike air max, christian louboutin, louboutin pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, oakley sunglasses wholesale, polo outlet, kate spade outlet, longchamp outlet, longchamp outlet, michael kors pas cher, prada outlet, gucci handbags, ugg boots, christian louboutin outlet, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton, chanel handbags, nike roshe, jordan pas cher, nike free run, air max, louis vuitton outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, sac longchamp pas cher, louis vuitton, tiffany jewelry, nike outlet, christian louboutin shoes, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, uggs on sale

oakleyses said...

nike free uk, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, kate spade, ray ban uk, nike roshe run uk, new balance, abercrombie and fitch uk, michael kors outlet online, north face, uggs outlet, replica handbags, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, burberry outlet, hogan outlet, uggs outlet, michael kors outlet, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, nike blazer pas cher, hollister uk, michael kors, sac hermes, polo lacoste, nike tn, true religion outlet, converse pas cher, michael kors outlet online, hollister pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, michael kors outlet online, nike air force, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, true religion jeans, burberry handbags, coach outlet store online, nike air max, michael kors, oakley pas cher, lululemon canada, nike air max uk, nike air max uk, coach outlet, north face uk, mulberry uk

oakleyses said...

iphone 6s cases, chi flat iron, ipad cases, north face outlet, hollister, ralph lauren, wedding dresses, nike air max, north face outlet, louboutin, baseball bats, insanity workout, iphone 6 plus cases, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, asics running shoes, ferragamo shoes, mcm handbags, valentino shoes, p90x workout, nike roshe run, babyliss, timberland boots, nfl jerseys, iphone cases, lululemon, iphone 5s cases, ghd hair, iphone 6 cases, mont blanc pens, longchamp uk, hollister clothing, beats by dre, reebok outlet, instyler, s6 case, oakley, bottega veneta, hermes belt, soccer shoes, herve leger, jimmy choo outlet, mac cosmetics, abercrombie and fitch, new balance shoes, nike trainers uk, iphone 6s plus cases, nike huaraches

oakleyses said...

canada goose outlet, canada goose, swarovski crystal, canada goose, canada goose, karen millen uk, ray ban, coach outlet, wedding dresses, moncler, louis vuitton, moncler outlet, swarovski, moncler, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, juicy couture outlet, moncler, marc jacobs, barbour, gucci, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, toms shoes, links of london, supra shoes, pandora charms, doudoune moncler, hollister, canada goose outlet, ugg, converse, replica watches, pandora jewelry, pandora uk, ugg uk, barbour uk, moncler uk, moncler outlet, hollister, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, ugg pas cher, montre pas cher, louis vuitton, moncler, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton, vans, canada goose uk, thomas sabo, canada goose jackets, nike air max, converse outlet

chenmeinv0 said...

canada goose outlet
montblanc pens
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet store online
spurs jerseys
true religion jeans
polo ralph lauren
moncler soldes
adidas nmd r1
hilfiger jeans

alam comp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.