Sunday, July 15, 2007

CONSPIRING WAITRESSES

Hmmmmm?

Maybe I'm Paranoid?! I don't know if this happens to other people when they go out to dine but it does happen to me! After my food arrives and I am a 3rd of the way into it, whether I'm watching for the waiter/waitress to come back so I can ask for something else or not, they always seem to show up when my mouth is full.

I think IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!! In fact I know it is!

Haven't you noticed that they wait in the shadows and when your mouth is packed so tightly that you can barely close your lips together, they run over and ask "Is everything okay?" With a mouth stuffed like that it takes at least five minutes to finish chewing, swallow, and make sure there is nothing in your teeth when you answer.

Unlike some of the men on my husband's side of the family, I choose not to talk with my mouth full. So I miss out on whatever it was I may have needed. I look like a Boa Constrictor with half a small animal in my mouth. I always end up smiling and nodding to motion that all is well while trying to keep the contents from spilling out.

Of course, there is the real possibility that they are waiting for me to take a break but then finally give up. (hence the name *Waiter *Waiting on you *Waiting for you...to slow down and take a breath of air.)

NOPE! After years of watching this, I'm convinced that this is a tactic that all waitstaff use to get out of having to run back and forth.

What do you think?
(and don't tell me to take smaller bites!) :0P

10 comments:

Mikey Z said...

Thats why I try to swallow everything in one bite. But I usually end up choking before dessert.

Zoning Out Again said...

Cute son. Real cute! That's why I always smack you in the back of the head for gulping your food! :0)

Captain Smack said...

I love a women who can fit a small animal in her mouth.

Perhaps you should carry a pad and pen into the restaurant with you. Or maybe you could bring some cue-cards that say things like "NEED MORE TEA", "BRING KETCHUP" or "IS TONIGHT THE 2 FOR 1 MARGARITA NIGHT?"

Zoning Out Again said...

Captain~
I thought about trying that.
I have the same idea for my rear window in the back of my car.
Little electric powered cards that pop up and display road rage messages and symbols. :0)

mcewen said...

Should we contact the Humane Society?
Cheers

Zoning Out Again said...

McEwen~ Hee hee!
Yeah it's a bad habit. I'll get help, I promise.

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