Sunday, April 15, 2007


I can remember going to the movies A LOT when I was a kid. Drive-ins were the best! My dad would put together a picnic to support his famous fried chicken and we'd all pile up in the car for the evening. Sometimes we'd go with family or friends and park side by side to make it a small party. $5 bucks per car! Remember that? Ah the good old days!

I can't remember the last time I was able to take the whole family out to the movies. Drive-ins are a dead breed out here in the East. We're left with the over priced movie theaters usually located in the mall where you need an entourage to help you make your way through the crowds of teenagers and senior citizens (It's still up in the air on who's rowdier).

Okay, so the price of tickets are understandable, but the food?
I don't know why I even bother to walk up to the counter and look at the menu.
I'm left feeling livid every time! You need to take out a small personal loan just to go see a movie and grab a few goodies to pack the face. My Mom says, "you should go to dinner first". Okay that's nice but the whole tradition of the experience is to pack your face with hot buttery popcorn, slurp away on your cola and even if you aren't hungry, force down some juju bees!
There's nothing more satisfying than watching, chomping, picking stuff out of your teeth, and washing it all down with some ice cold highly carbonated fructose and corn syrup. I SEETHE at the counter as I ask myself WHY DIDN'T I HIT THE CONVENIENT STORE before I came in? I can usually fit a couple of small candy bars in my purse. I don't usually do it though because I feel so guilty! I'm paranoid as I pay for my ticket and I feel like

Movie theater popcorn is my biggest pet peeve!

There are so many sizes now. Super Tiny, Tiny, Snack Size Small, Regular Small, Mini Medium, Regular Medium, Large, Jumbo and GINORMOUS. The smallest size starts out at $5 BUCKS!

I'm a smart-ass by nature so I have to catechize the poor sap behind the counter with questions like; How much for a handful? How much for a sip of coke? I only have $5 dollars on me, can I get a handful of everything and a couple of sips of Mountain Dew?

What really bothers me the most about the cost of pocorn is that it's ALWAYS COLD!!!!!!!!! Maybe I could justify the cost if it were THE GREATEST POPCORN ON THE PLANET! Kernel-less like boneless wings. Hot and buttery would be a plus. These days instead of popping new batches, they let it sit until it's all gone. Cold and lard coated. Blah! It's not just the theater in our mall. It's everywhere! I can't get passed the thought that a box of Movie Time - extra butter - microwavable popcorn with 20 bags only costs $1.99 in the grocery store, and chances are I have some at home! Can't sneak that in...they would smell it!

I can't afford to take my family so we all go separately.
My kids go with their friends.
My husband doesn't go at all.
And I go with me, myself and I.
(It's a good thing they don't know about all of my personalities, otherwise I'd never be able to afford it).
Don't even get me going on the candy!

I have friends who bring a picnic with them. INTO THE THEATER!
My girlfriend told me that one time she was eating ice cream...wait a minute I said, "Ice cream? They sell Ice cream now?" and she said "no silly, we stopped and each got ourselves a pint of Ben and Jerry's!"
"What about spoons?" I said
"I keep them in the bag with the 2 ltr bottle of soda".
"How big is this bag, Geez?" (my heart starts to race with excitement and all of a sudden buckets of fried chicken and a flick seem possible again).
"It's like a beach bag, I can fit a lot of stuff in it." she said.
"I guess so! Listen, what are you doing next Thanksgiving?"

Too much stress and hard earned mula to watch a movie these days! I'll just continue go grocery shopping and rent my movies.


Diesel said...

This is why we just bought a huge TV. In like 18 years, it will have paid for itself! The only movies we pay to see are based on characters created by Stan Lee or Bob Kane.

Zoning Out Again said...

You've gotta be diggin HEROES!

Ray Dotson said...

Great memories of the drive-ins and I totally remember the great deal for $5 a carload. I think the last one I saw had to have included Return of the Living Dead! Remember that one?h

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