Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Heck Yeah Mutha Trucka!


(That title has nothing to do with today’s post. It just felt good to say it.)

Hi everyone, I’m back. I’ve been released from the blog penalty box. I don’t have much to say, so I may end up back in the box very soon.

My daughter came home today with a health class project that has her caring for an egg (which is supposed to be a baby). The assignment is that each student is to take their egg with them everywhere and bring the egg back within a week, unscathed. The teacher marked the eggs with a special pen that only a blue light will detect to make sure the students don’t cheat and bring in any old egg after breaking the original.

The very first day of the assignment, my daughter had the nerve to ask me to baby-sit her egg. It really is a great learning experience because I can teach her right now that I WILL NOT be BABYSITTING squat! I’ve been babysitting and then some for the last 19 years! It's bad enough that I have to baby-sit my husband for the rest of my life. I have 4 more years to go with our kids and then my plan is to drink some special Kool-Aide, lie down on a cot and wait for Hailey’s Comet to come and pick me up!

It's a nice concept as a health project though isn't it? It's geared to show teenagers how stressful it can be to care for a child if they are irresponsible and end up pregnant at an early age. I wish these eggs could scream at the top of their non-existent lungs and crap in their non-existent pants!

I’m going back to the penalty box!

14 comments:

Theresa said...

Glad you're back, I was about to write a note to the management, demanding your immediate return.

Oooh, I remember that project. Our class didn't do it, and we jealous of the ones that did. The only hitch was that the boys spent most of their time trying to break the girls' eggs. It's not quite the same taking care of an egg as a kid who doesn't let you sleep, then starts refusing to do what you want and throws temper tantrums. You're right, they should get something more realistic. It figures the first thing they ask you to do is babysit. Of course you could always trade, "O.K. I'll babysit little Egghead here for you, and you clean the entire house for me."

Diesel said...

I remember doing that as a kid. Except I went to an expensive private school, so they gave us a real baby. I did pretty well at first, but eventually I got hungry and ate it.

Zoning Out Again said...

theresa~
Shhhhhh, management doesn't really know I've escaped. Keep it on the DL!
...and I've already got the kids cleaning the entire house. That was the point of having them! :0) They cook dinner and do their own laundry too! Somehow I'm still exhausted! Don't tell CPS!
:0D

diesel~
And you say I need help? :0D
What changed to kept you from eating those adorbable children you have now? Don't tell me! I should know better! That beautiful wife of yours locked you in the basement until they were bigger than bite size! I knew it!
Ya Sicko!

Zoning Out Again said...

theresa~
BTW boys suck! Trying to break the girls' eggs! Isn't that always the case?

linusmann said...

If your daughter asks you to eggsit again, do it and get one of those blue light pens and write something that will shock the teacher when she checks it for authenticity next week.

Just don't get her expelled.

Oh yeah, I've never tried to "break" a girl's egg, but then again, I went to an all boys high school.

Citymouse said...

our local high school has these dolls that screem and cry and wet and record everything the parent does ---- it's like a baby with a parent monitering system...I'm glad my kids didnt come with that feature....

Theresa said...

Yeah, break girls' eggs, that's what boys generally do. Well, I guess that's how we keep the whole cycle of life going, isn't it?

Zoning Out Again said...

linusmann~ something about that line "do it and get one of those blue light pens and write something that will shock the teacher" is just plain shady. I'll bet that if you had a chance to break a girl’s egg you'd try!
You Shady Boy You!

citymouse~ LOL! My kids didn't come with that feature either but the schools screwed that up when they programmed the child protective services phone number in all of the kid’s minds. These days kids can sue a parent for wrongful grounding!

theresa~ I'm still LMAO over your version of diesel's Mixed Fruits post! GREAT STUFF!!!!!! I wonder if Adam was a mean egg breaking boy?

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