Friday, May 11, 2007

THIS IS BRA FAT and it needs to go!

Okay ladies, (and some of you men),

Can anyone tell me what the purpose of Bra Fat is? What does it do? Why is it there? How did it get in myyyy shirt?

Other than confusing people about which is the front and which is the back, what is it's function? The least it can do is store water like a camel!

I look like I have a sixpack on my upper back!
(and a Keg in the front).
This is rediculous!
theresa was over at her place talking about fashion and how there is an 80s revival in Spain right now. People... can we please just go back to the 1800s and bring back the Corset?

Ya know they also make them for guys with man-boobs!

Please post some suggestions here so that I can just STOP THE MADNESS ALREADY!

I need another bra for my back!!!
(Yeah yeah, I know.....ewwwww!)


Theresa said...

Oh no, bra fat, and summer is almost here! That's every woman's worst enemy. Seriously, though, I don't see any fat in that picture. Mrs. Diesel better watch out, because she's got competition ;)

Zoning Out Again said...

Oh there's pleanty of fat there trust me! It's amazing how long a person can hold in a beer belly!


What I thought was a great marketing ploy (you know a little stalkerism, scandelous comments about our beloved blog boss)went a bit wrong somewhere. (well probably from the beginning) :0)

I'm changing the marketing plan to include stalking everyone I read, including Mrs D should she grace us with her insights.
(You're on the top of the list). :0) What's a little stalking between friends? :0)

Joel Bezaire said...

I apologize for starting the rumor that Mrs. Diesel has competition. Darn this interweb for taking innocent jokes and turning them into rumors.

I though Bra-fat was a euphemism. Har. :)

Minka said...

Bra fat?

I should google that before I answer...but I have to second Theresa...the picture is not clear enough to show any of it on you, whatever it might be :)

Have a clothesless picture with just teh bra, you can cover your boobies with your hands...I need better proof of its existence.

Oh and yes...teh 80ies. What´s wrong with people, leggins? We´ve been there and done that and recognized our mistake. Why repeat it? What´s wrong with a jeans and shirt?

Minka said...

I know I said the word boobies...whoever is offendend by that blatant natural annoucnement...unclench and have a nice day!

Zoning Out Again said...

We accept your apology, but we weren't born yesterday. WE CAN SEE those horns on your head!
YES YOUR HORNS! You didn't think we noticed did you?
Well, no harm done, but you did open my own eyes to my getting carried away with the hyper-stalking I was doing.
Why stalk one blogger when there is so much stalking I can spread around...And now that you opened your big innocent mouth, you're going to have to see my silly face in your comment section everyday! See what happens when you "innocently" start rumors? (not that I didn't contribute to those myself by proclaiming that I was his #1 stalker...or that I had a metaphorical crush on said blog boss).

Oh, and I WISH the bra fat was a euphemism! Same with the fat on my asss'terisck (as the girls say).

Zoning Out Again said...

minka, minka, minka... If I dare post a picture clothsless, BLOGGING as we know it would be KA-PUTZ!!!
If I had to cover up my boobies to show the bra fat, I'd have to bend over to gather them off the ground, roll them up, tie them around my neck, and in the process, you would see fat in other places that I'm still in denial about.

I'm with you about the leggins!
I have to admit that I went through my own Madonna phase, but it's time to move on! With all of the constant technology advances that we make, you would think the Fashion World would stretch their imaginations and come up with a new trend. I for one would like to see pajamas as business attire make it into the framework. Big baggie tshirts & baggie jammie flannels with giraffes all over!
Big and baggie hides the bra fat well!

ariel said...

hi, ZOA! I am here for the first time. this post of yours totally stunned me. Americans have so many great phrases like "good hair day", "pillow hair" and such. and now bra fat. just too funny. but you are cheating in the photo because you hold your arm up. Terminator himself is going to have bra fat that way. :)

and what about bra for man-boobs? it cracked me up BADLY. thanks for the laughter!

Diesel said...

You mean it was all a marketing ploy? I knew something wasn't right. Now I'm wondering what my wife is marketing. Must be something BIG.

Zoning Out Again said...

Oh NOW you show up after leaving me here alone to defend myself against all of these unfounded accusations!

Yes it was a friendly marketing ploy, but you were my first!
My very first blog I'd laid eyes on EVER.
It was a great ploy though don't you think? All of the cool kids have been stopping by.

I don't know what Mrs D has up her sleeve but I'm betting it's huge!
Come on! Look at her……look at you.
Oh Yes, I see! She got some really beautiful babies out of you.
(by the way did you ever get those test results back?)

Anyhow, thanks for stopping back. Now I can sleep.
(after I leave Mrs D. 10 more messages back at your place).

G said...

Perhaps go braless?

Stop! You have no fat that can be determined from that pic. Women - we're our own worst enemies. You look divine - so there.

Now nice stalking job you've been doing. As a member of Diesel's adjutant inspector squad, I just came to fingerprint you. Won't be but a moment - there. Just for the record, you know.

Carry on.

Zoning Out Again said...

Thanks g,
I pride myself on sucking up and stalking like no other stalker can stalk a stalkee!
I've been working on my comment whoring too....ooooh, this finger print ink is kinda itchy.

Anyhow, I can't go bra-less!
As soon as the last hook is unhooked, I explode like the nutty professor! It's not pretty!

Captain Smack said...

I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, Zoning, and I'm not going to Google "bra fat" to find out. But judging by your picture, I'd say you're pretty fucking crazy, which compels me to leave a comment.

Ok, change of direction - I just read the other comments, and I now think I understand what you meant by "Bra Fat". It's that little bulge of skin that protrudes from the area where your bra presses against the flesh of your back.Ok. That makes sense.

I also picked up that you are a self-diagnosed comment whore. Not a problem.

As for the Bra Fat, I would advise you to ignore the comments of Theresa and G (no offense, guys) for they were probably just being nice. I examined the photo myself, and there is clearly a small fold of back flesh showing.

This is certainly a problem, and comes, most likely, from eating food. If you want to get rid of this disgusting fleshy stuff, you're going to have to cut that out.

Food is for survival, not for looking fabulous.

I would highly recommend an eating disorder. Perhaps Bulimia, if you're just starting out. Another option is Anorexia, which is a little more advanced, and takes a lot of dedication. If you are an overly disciplined control freak, then you may be able to skip directly to Anorexia. For you, however, I'm guessing Binge-n-Purge might be a better fit.

Try this for a couple of months and see how it goes. If you need any further advice, don't be shy. The Captain is just a few clicks away, and is always willing to "help".

Zoning Out Again said...

Oh Ariel I'm such a terrible host, I completely skipped over you!
I'm glad you like the term Bra Fat. Yes we Americans aren't wound too tightly. We get a little bored over here and need to make up names for everything that already has a name.

It looks like you are over in Budapest am I correct?
Well, Welcome, Welcome and Welcome ! Come by anytime!
Feel free to bring presents. :0)

Zoning Out Again said...

You've given me some of the best advice so far! I had a feeling it was the food! DAMN IT! The other day I ate a whole cheesecake by myself! Not in one sitting have you but it was gone in a couple of days! I know. SLOB! I find that the older I get the more food seems to enjoy my company!

I don't think I can do the binge and purge thing, or anything that has to do with puking. I HATE THROWING UP WITH A PASSION!!!!! See all that passion in those exclamation marks?
Anyhow, thank you for being truthful and acknowledging the atrocity that rides on my back.
Hmmm... I'm craving cheesecake now.
Well, maybe it is time to start eating healthier....NAH!

wormbrain said...

The solution to bra-fat is staring you right in the face.

Lose the bra!

Plus, I hear blatant nipples are the new black.

Zoning Out Again said...

WORMIE~ What if your nipples are tucked under your boobs? Like completely smothered underneath? I don't know how that happend!

Captain Smack said...

I'm basically sober now, and was looking at the photo again...

Is that a gas mask you're wearing? And if so, was it loaded with Vick's Vapor Rub by any chance? I'm just trying to make sense of this.

Blue the Spa Girl said...

Bra fat. Back fat. Thigh fat. It's all fat. It all sucks. I hear ya sister.

Gawpo said...

Dude. Bra fat is so hot. Why don't women know this? Same as pantie lines. Mrs. Diesel has no bra fat. This makes you much hotter.

By the way, even though you just left your first comment on my blog, I have sensed being stalked since last November. Hey! You weren't on a western carib. cruise back then, were you? I seem to recall one particular female with some exceptionally hot bra fat on the ship.

linusmann said...

Bra fat, bra fat, bra fat. Why do women worry about something like bra fat?
Because men, myself included, are the nitpickiest m-f-ers of the species. Don't get me started on hairy toes. I hate them even though I'm not self-conscious about my own and I'm growing a freaking forest on my big toe alone. Gotta love the double standard.

Zoning Out Again said...

Hey Captain Smack'That~
No silly that's not a gas mask that's my real face! HELLO! Geez! HURTIE!

Blue Spa Girl~ Thanks for sharing my pain!

Yo' Gwapo~
REALLY? Bra Fat is HOT!
SWEET!(in Napolean Dynamite Voice)
I'm going to go make another cheesecake! What about neck fat, armpit fat and knee fat?
*No it was not I who was stalking you back in November as I just started blogging (or even knew what blogging was)this past March.
Not on a ship, not on a plane, not on a train! But I have been stalking you and plan to continue. Just a little more out in the open now! :0)

WHASSUP linnusman~ Glad to see you're back my fellow diesel's-Thursday-shouted-out friend!Hmmm... hairy toes huh? Ever think of SHAVING THEM? That's what I do! I haven't figured out what to do about the bushes of ear hair yet though! Any suggestions?

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Hey ZOA, I have arrived as per your order,er,I mean your kind invitation.

I kinda like the no bra suggestion that has already been made, but if that's a definite no go, may I ask if you are certain that your bra is the right size?

I've heard that there are many women walking around wearing the wrong sized bra...or maybe I've just been Punk'd...damn you Ashton Kutcher!

Zoning Out Again said...

Hey Drive-By~

Thank you for following orders....I mean accepting my invite. :0)

You're input is important you know!

So NO GO on the bra-less concept but nice try!
I'm pretty sure I have the right size, but then again it's tough to tell the exact size when your shopping at hammock world. Damn these ropes hurt the shoulders I gotta tell ya!

The Boob Lady said...

Kind words from the Boob Lady, the "bra fat" which I like to call back fat, is actually your first sign that your bra is too small. You need to go up in the band size. Probably not the cup, unless you're sporting "Double Boobs" (The unsightly overflow of boob from the bra cup.) I sometimes wish that I could stop strangers in the mall and tell them that I can help them. Some people don't want to hear that, but I'm honest when it comes to boobs, I see so many good racks go to waste with a too small bra. :) Hope this helps! xx

Zoning Out Again said...

All my life (until last year) I was wearing the wrong cup size,
so now it's time to check the band! AWESOME! Double Boobs, LOL!

I'd love to hear you stop people in the mall! I can hear one particular conversation now:

"Hi, I'm the Boob Lady. Listen, I'm not trying to stare at your nauseating double boobs but they are SO distracting everyone, and not in a good way!
Why don't you follow me over to Victoria's Secret and I'll show you for FREE how to fix those sour eye sores, kay?"

"Sweet! Can you help me do something about my Laffy Taffy, Kanagroo Pouch and Cottage Cheeze-bum too?"

oOoh Gotta stop....
I'm making myself feel queasy!

So thanks again Boobs!!!
I'll be back to bug you real soon!

spooky said...

what a great post, I'll keep an eye out for bra fat in the future!!!

Zoning Out Again said...

So glad you made it over!
You think you're Spooky? Wait until you start seeing my spookie face everyday! Just ask diesel!

Dan said...

Bra fat? Never heard of it. To tell you the truth, EVERYTHING in a bra is awesome as far as I'm concerned. :)

Zoning Out Again said...

What if it's a Man Bra?

rjlight said...

Yes, I'm with you -- hate the fat back -- goes right with the underarm jiggle that my son calls chubby. ugh! By the way, masking tape doesn't work -- doesn't mask a thing...

Dan said...

To answer your question ... BARF, BARF, BARF, BARF ...

oh ... that's better. :)

How's it going buddy?

Zoning Out Again said...

It's goin great man! Just working up a storm and miserably sick while doing so. Other than that just peachy! And you?

Zoning Out Again said...

rjlight~Children can be so evil sometimes! Once...well, actually more than once, when my children were little they used to ask "eeeewww what happened to your tummy?" and I replied YOU! You happened to my tummy! NOW GET BACK IN THE CELLAR!" They're still down there to this day!

rjlight said...

I just read a blogger - job wanting a controversial parent blogger --maybe you could --no, most parents keep their kids in the cellar...

Zoning Out Again's Mother said...

Hello Honey,
You sure do have lots of time to wonder I haven't gotten a phone call in ages. Thats all right don't worry about me, not much new here, my walker has a flat tire, and I can't remember where I left my teeth soaking, I'm for bra problems, don't foret that you can use duct tape for everything...almost. I'm off to pick up aluminum cans..CALL YOUR MOTHER!!

Zoning Out Again said...

Ohhh Mommie! I'm sorry! I have been neglecting you! I'm calling you right now!!!!!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

How do you think credit crunch affected porn?

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