CONSPIRING WAITRESSES

Hmmmmm?

Maybe I'm Paranoid?! I don't know if this happens to other people when they go out to dine but it does happen to me! After my food arrives and I am a 3rd of the way into it, whether I'm watching for the waiter/waitress to come back so I can ask for something else or not, they always seem to show up when my mouth is full.

I think IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!! In fact I know it is!

Haven't you noticed that they wait in the shadows and when your mouth is packed so tightly that you can barely close your lips together, they run over and ask "Is everything okay?" With a mouth stuffed like that it takes at least five minutes to finish chewing, swallow, and make sure there is nothing in your teeth when you answer.

Unlike some of the men on my husband's side of the family, I choose not to talk with my mouth full. So I miss out on whatever it was I may have needed. I look like a Boa Constrictor with half a small animal in my mouth. I always end up smiling and nodding to motion that all is well while trying to keep the contents from spilling out.

Of course, there is the real possibility that they are waiting for me to take a break but then finally give up. (hence the name *Waiter *Waiting on you *Waiting for you...to slow down and take a breath of air.)

NOPE! After years of watching this, I'm convinced that this is a tactic that all waitstaff use to get out of having to run back and forth.

What do you think?
(and don't tell me to take smaller bites!) :0P