SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and some new hair pics....

Have you checked out the new Humor-Blogs site yet? Diesel categorized all of our blogs and I found mine under 'Family'. So on that note, I won't feel guilty posting a little slide show of our snow experience out here in the North East these past couple of days. This is for all of my Cali peeps and basically any of you who don't get to experience this season. WE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Between all of the shoveling and hot cocoa we managed to get in a few snowball fights. Here is a small account of how we passed the time during last Thursday's storm.

What's In Your Bag?

Turn your volume up so you can hear me & click on the arrows at the bottom of the screen to navigate if you're impatient like I am. :0D If you're a Voicethread member, leave me a voice comment. If you aren't a member, check it out! Voicethread.com. Thanks for the heads up Joel of Crummy Church Signs





Check out what Theresa of The Rain In Spain has in her bag! And take a look at what Frogster carries in his pockets over at The Frog Bog

WOO HOO! I'M IN THE LINE UP!!!!

Even though I don't expect to win this one, I'm honored to be in the top ten!
I voted for myself which explains why I'm on the boards. Get over to Diesel's place MattressPolice and check out his caption contest. He's an amazing photoshop artist who super imposes himself into scenes and then people post their best caption submissions vying for a signed digital copy from the artist (no not Prince the Artist) and bragging rights with an "In Your Face" banner. The genius rigged the banner to bring the clicker back to his site.
I appreciate his blog pimping ways!
So get on over there and vote for your favorite caption. I'm partial to Crazy Aunt Bea from Central Snark Theresa from The Rain In Spain and Crummy Church Signs
Good Luck Everyone!

Opinion Polls & Market Research

NOPE...STILL HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING NEW

I'M PULLING A BRITTNEY!!!

Okay, maybe not as drastic as Brittney, and this is for a good cause.
I'm taking the girls and we're lopping off our hair for Locks of Love.
See all this hair?


It's all coming off in a couple of days! WOO HOO! I can't believe that people sell their hair instead of donating it to others in need! My hair grows fast so I'm just going to farm myself out! No that doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean!




Below is how it's going to look. I hope. :0)
I thought about going completely bald but winter is almost here! I also thought about piercing my cheeks. Have you seen that? It's so cool! If I were a full time artist, I would do it, but I doubt it will go over well in the Real Estate world.

I LOVE MY VERY FAR IN THE FUTURE FUNERAL HOME!!!!

Oh, it feels so good to take a break! Finally! Work is really going to kill me one of these days. Speaking of...I know this topic sounds really sick and twisted, but hey, what else can you expect from me? I just have to say that I have found my second to last final destination after I take the big old plunge.

I know, you’re thinking this topic might jinx me, but I’m writing it anyway.
I live a few blocks from this funeral home I’ve fallen in love with. Every time I drive by with my children in the car, I tell them ‘look everyone, it’s my funeral home. Wave!”
They think I’m demented. I call it being positive.

I must get it from my Mom. She and her husband purchased their plots already. They live in California and bought their plots in Chicago. After purchasing their plots during a visit, they took pictures of themselves standing on them, smiling and waving, then sent them to me! How sick is that? Pretty damn sick I tell you!

So here are a few photos of my funeral home. I don’t ask for much. I’m never materialistic, (my toilet paper fetish does not count). I never got the wedding of my dreams. (Either time). I didn’t get to buy my dream home. I could go on, but why be negative. My new goal is to be extremely positive, starting with looking forward to going out in style! I keep bringing this funeral home thing to the attentions of my family and friends hoping that someone will remember in 60 or so years that this is my dream funeral home. Isn't it beautiful? Go ahead...Click on the photos to enlarge them and get a good gander! Gander...where did that come from? I'm already talking like an eighty year old!


Even the hearse is beautiful.


The building is beautiful. The grounds are always beautiful.



If you’d like to start sending donations now, please do. Why wait until the last minute? People always ask for donations when someone dies don’t they? A little too morbid? Take a look at these photos and tell me you wouldn’t be just as excited.
I had always planned on being cremated, but if I could be put on display here, I wouldn't mind the thought of maggots later.

So here is my verbal wish online forever.
This funeral home, ballons, a picnic on the grounds, and a band. (no clowns please, unless they are from Cirque Du Soleil), pop corn and cotton candy.
HEY I GREW UP AS A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS AND I'VE MISSED OUT ON YEARS OF BIRTHDAY PARTIES, HOLIDAY PARTIES AND OTHER SUPERFICIAL STUFF. Oh yeah, positive....

So there it is: Write to me about where you can send the donations. :0)
I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR HALLOWEEN!!!!!

Last year I had the time of my life decorating for Halloween. It was the first year that I didn't have to chaperon my girls with 10-15 of their friends all over creation. Last year, another parent FINALLY did the deed. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss that phase in their lives when they were young enough to trick-or-treat, but it's pretty much over for them. Now that they're teenagers, they've informed me that last year was in fact the last year. I got to stay home for the first time and scare the crap out of little kids. If I remember correctly even the high school kids were freaked out a bit.
I know I've got a couple of months left still but this year I've got to out do last year! WOO HOO!!!!
Let me know if you have any good ideas.
I wish I had a hologram machine.
I'd love to create a grave yard with holograms of ghosts.

HERE I AM SIMPSONIZED

Yeah yeah, I'm copying the cool kids! :0P
LOOK YOU CAN STILL SEE MY BRA FAT!

CAN A UVULA BE REMOVED WHILE SOMEONE SLEEPS?

If I were one of the 7 dwarfes, I’d be sleepy. Sleepy, because my husband refuses to sleep quietly. Is it too much to ask that someone keep their snoring in check? I’m usually a very mild mannered person. Nothing really gets to me the way that most things get to other people. People like my mother-in-law whom I’m sure unknowingly eats a healthy dose of chef saliva every time she goes out to eat. I don’t even want to go down the list of things that bother my husband resulting in stark raving lunaticisms. Likewise if I were to go through a list of things that certain people in my office find themselves easily annoyed about, we’d be here all day.

So this snoring thing is out of control. I can usually sleep through anything. ANYTHING! Or if I’m awoken by accident, it’s all good, I can easily go back to sleep with no problem. Unlike other people I know, who once they get woken up, they make everyone in the house pay. I’m not just talking about my husband. I’ll have to tell you about the camping trip I took with my mother-in-law and her sisters and how we were all forced to go to bed like 8 year olds because my mother in law needs absolute deafening quiet when she sleeps. One minute she was instigating a balloon fight and as soon as she decided it was over, “it was over and why the hell weren’t we asleep already”. She can be quite scary when she gets annoyed. Even the crickets were terrified.

Anyhow, nothing fazes me when I sleep, EXCEPT for snoring.
There is something about it that just makes me want to take a pillow and snuff it right out. I’ve tried everything from poking a knee into my husbands back, to rolling him over myself. Once, I’m ashamed to say, that I even punched him. (not hard, because it didn’t wake him, but just enough to get him to shift positions so the snoring would stop). When he snores he’s always in a sound sleep, but one time I punched him (Oh I already said I only punched him once, maybe it was a couple of times) and he woke up and said geez why did you hit me?

I played it off and said, “Oh, sorry I must have been dreaming about toilet paper sandwiches.” “what? Oh your talking in your sleep too.”

So the snoring still continues from time to time and I just can’t sleep through it. I'm normally nice as pie. The phone can ring at any given time when I’m asleep, say around 3 am and I'll drag myself to the phone, wiping the drool off my chin, eyes all pasted together (isn’t that a lovely picture) and I'll answer the phone and pull off the “No, I wasn’t asleep, you aren’t bothering me at all” in a happy stepford wife tone. I’m not a grouchy sleeper.

......UNLESS there's some snoring going on.

It doesn’t have to be my husband who’s uvula I want to snip out of his throat with a pair of large toe nail clippers, in the middle of the night. It can be the dogs too. Once I slept in a room with 4 other adults who were all snoring. It was surround sound snoring at it’s best and I wanted to kill that night! KILL THEM ALL!

I know, it sounds really callous and evil of me, but I’m sure that there are many of you out there who share my pain. All the tossing and turning, and sighing and punching in the world doesn’t make it any better does it. There must be a support group out there. SAS? Spouses Against Snoring. Let me know if you come up with any ideas before I KILL someone.

MAN NIPPLES......

The other day I was 'chillin' in my back yard with my daughter and our dog Max. As she was rubbing his belly, much to his delight, she pondered out loud “why do male dogs have nipples?” I replied “Well, human males have nipples too. Hmm, why do males have nipples? There’s really no purpose for them, right?”

My daughter is the female version of Cliff Clavin from Cheers, so I figured she would give me some long detailed explanation on the purpose of male nipples. Much to my delight at the time, she had nothing. It’s been a few days now and the question still flickers in and out of my head, as if I don’t have enough to think about.

So does anyone out there have a good explanation for what purpose male nipples serve? The question takes me back to that one time when God created Adam. You remember that time right? Anyhow, I wonder if Adam started out WITHOUT nipples…and then along came Eve.

In my mind, male nipples may have come about a little something like this:
(I’ve illustrated a cartoon for this, but I’m too busy these days to dig out the scanner).

Adam: Here ya go lord, here’s the rib.
God: Alright, let me see what I can come up with.
~POOF~
Adam: Hmm, cool. But she looks a little too much like me.
Isn’t there something you can do to make sure you can tell us apart?
God: I see your point. How’s this?
~poof~
Adam: o000O00OH, Adam likie!
What are those? Ya know, I think I would like a set for myself.
God: No, I don’t think so.
Adam: I want em!!! I want em!!! I want em….
God: FINE! Poof~ There ya go.
Adam: Ohhh, they’re really uncomfortable.
God: Okaaaay How about….that?
Adam: Muuuuch better! Now what are they for again?
God: I was hoping you were going to tell me.
Adam: Hmmm. Can I have some wings too.
God:Your really pushing it!

OKAY I KNOW YOU HATE YOUTUBE CLIPS BUT THIS IS FUNNY!
And besides, it isn't YouTube it's JIBJAB. :0P